#12 Simon Gagne and #13 Glen Metropolit

#12 Simon Gagne

If you care more about Tyra than hockey get this - our General Manager called Simon Gagne fat over the summer. I know, can you believe it?!? Simon has since stated that an off-season diet and his most rigorous training schedule yet have him in the best shape of his life. So every goal he scores is a tiny victory for Tyra Banks and all the girls who were not impressed that they showed up on the day that they had to strip down into their underpants in the studio audience and be branded with a weight tag.

If you liked Simon Gagne you should love Simon Gagne. Assuming the one big question mark surrounding him doesn't become a period. As in - Simon Gagne got a concussion. Gags missed basically all of last season due to two concussions I still haven't seen. Or if I did they weren't very glamorous, like a Lindros concussion. I guess there's nothing you or I can do about it so we'll just have to not worry every game. Unless you are Jay Bouwmeester. Then please don't hit our best scorer. God knows, and so do you if you played NHL '08, that Peter Forsberg said Gagne was the purest shooter he'd ever seen. He'll be more effective in the lineup.

If you keyed his yellow Lamborghini this morning because he hasn't responded to the naked drawings of him that you've been mailing to his house for 8 years then you might have a better idea of how he'll perform this year than I do. Last year I predicted he'd score 52 goals. I'm transferring that prediction to this year because while watching some guy brush his teeth a bit too vigorously in the bathroom a few minutes ago I thought "Simon Gagne could get 50 goals this year." Quickly followed by "I'm not really cool with public teeth brushing...it seems a little too personal. It causes some pretty aggressive and ugly facial expressions."

#13 Glenn Metropolit

If you like those anti-drug commercials where some kid refuses pot and keeps practicing his three-point dunk then you'll love Glenn Metropolit. Metro's story is one of perseverance and constantly defying the odds. He grew up a child without privilege in government subsidized housing in a rough area of Toronto known as Cabbage Town. Whereas some of us only wonder what our lives could have been like if we had made different choices Glenn has a pretty clear cut example in his brother - who is currently serving a 14 year sentence for his role in a very public and poorly executed kidnapping and torturing of a Toronto lawyer and his wife.

When Glen was 16 he moved away to play Minor Junior (not the OHL or WHL or anything big time like that) in hopes of a scholarship to an American College. With a couple schools interested in the young kid from Toronto only one thing stood in his way - grades. In the end he couldn't get them up and all schools, including Maine, Lake Superior State, and Bowling Green rescinded their offers. After never playing Major Junior and never being drafted Glen was able to sign a contract with the the Nashville Knights of the ECHL where he put up an impressive 62 points in 58 games in his first season. After 4 more years of minor league hockey (and spicing it up with some RHI in the summer) Glen finally got called up to the Washington Capitals. Metro then spent 4 years splitting time between the Caps and their AHL affiliate until he decided to take off for Europe where he played 3 years in Finland and Switzerland. After returning and having a decent year in which he actually scored the most points and played the most games of his NHL career for the Blues and the Thrashers, Glen was ready to call it quits...

If you like the spirit embodied by Darren McCarty or Joey Kocur you'll find it impossible not to root for Glen Metropolit. With nobody interested in him as last summer was closing out and training camps were preparing to open, Metro was about to officially end his hockey playing career. That is until the Boston Bruins offered him a tryout contract, much like the one the Flyers have extended to Bryan Berard this off-season. Metro decided to give it a shot. He drove his car up from Florida to Boston with his gear in the back like Dean Younglood crossing the Canadian border. And he made it. Not only did he make the team, he had a career year. Not only did he have a career year, he impressed the Flyers front office so much that they offered him a 2 year, $2M contract.

If you already knew all that then you probably know that Metro is Jim Dowd's replacement - except he can score. He's good for 30 points, and if he gets to play with some talent, maybe more. He just turned 34 and might be in the prime of his career, which sounds a little weird but would fit the bill. He's been looking for a place to play his whole life. The fact that the Flyers offered him a 2 year, and not a 1 year contract, may have been a partly psychological play by Paul Holmgren that I think will garner great results. He has the promise to make the 4th line come alive. Sure Riley Cote's a goon but don't forget he put up back to back 50+ point seasons in juniors. There's no reason he can't get to the net and benefit from some Glenny Metro shake n' bake.