Huh? What the fuck you talkin' about?

"That’s a possibility but we don’t have to decide that today," Holmgren said of moving Jones to the Phantoms. "He could still be on our roster. We have a number of options. The fact that he has cleared gives us different options."

So what you're saying is, Paul, that maybe you put Randy Jones on waivers just to scare the shit out of him? What exactly are your "different options?" Look like an idiot who doesn't know what he's doing or send Randy Jones to the Phantoms? Was the question you were asked that elicited that response just not clear enough for you? Should Panaccio have made sure to ask you what your "realistic options" are? Because as far as options go, well I guess the sky's the limit. You could:

- frame him for a murder

- actually kill him

- decide who the Flyers seven defensemen are by going out and buying 4 games of Battleship and having a massive war

- cancel the season

- make the Flyers salary cap $70M

- test him at goalie

- just give him a #77 Parent jersey and have them both dress

- pay him under the table

- pay him under the Eiffel Tower

- trade him for Patrick Kane (which I think Homer seems to be considering)

- travel back in time and give him $3.6M over 2 years

- try to convince the Ducks that there's been a Freaky Friday situation and Luca Sbisa is actually Randy Jones and you'd like him back

- doctor his birth certificate, tell him he's 65, and strongly suggest that he should consider retiring

This section of the article just absolutely blows my mind:

Holmgren did not rule out a trade at this point. He also said he had "no feel" for a team requesting the Flyers to place Jones on re-entry waivers so he could be claimed.

So no team wanted him for free, but might possibly want to trade for him. Like "no one wanted my walkman for free on craigslist. Maybe I should sell it on ebay?" This situation is only a possibility if the other team is trying to dump salary, which is what we're trying to do. So....

What the hell exactly is Homer talking about. Is he just talking to talk? Regardless, the Flyers seem to have no regard for Randy Jones the person or his feelings. Because I have to imagine he's been feeling pretty sheepish these past few days. And really looking forward to all the options that the next 48 hours hold.