Scott Hartnell is ready for the Olympics. Although he was shocked to find out last Wednesday that he had not been selected to the Canadian Olympic team he was able to find the silver lining during an interview from the penalty box on Sunday afternoon (AGAIN, THAT IS NOT TRUE. I WAS NOT IN OTTAWA ON SUNDAY AND CERTAINLY DID NOT HAVE ACCESS TO INTERVIEW SCOTT HARTNELL WHILE HE WAS SERVING HIS ROUGHING MINOR).
"It was difficult to stomach at first," Hartnell admitted while stealing glances at Flyers coach Peter Laviollete across the ice," but the two weeks off will be much needed. Because I'm ready to fucking party."
Hartnell said plans were already in the works to head down to Mexico with Jeff Carter and Scottie Upshall. Patrick Thoresen is apparently considering skipping the Olympics because the trip sounds like such a great opportunity to hit up some indoor spaces while keeping your sunglasses on. Hartnell wasn't sure where they were going yet, but said the plans were in capable hands.
"Where's that place Tony Romano went with Jessica Simpson? Dos Caminos? I think Scottie is setting us up with place down there."
Hartnell said he was "totally shocked" that his 9 goals this season weren't enough to land him on at least the third line for Team Canada.
"I had Ryan Potulny edged out by one goal so I thought I was a shoe-in. Did he make it by the way? Wait, is he even Canadian? Anyway, I don't know who's going to take their minor penalties for them. I guess Steve Yzerman doesn't want to get all he can out of his penalty killers. That's something the fans are going to miss. The thrill of a good penalty kill. And my hair. They'll obviously miss that too."
But he remembers his time off in 2006 fondly (MAYBE HE DOES, I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I'VE NEVER TALKED TO HIM).
"Man, I was playing for Nashville in 2006 and a bunch of us went to Seaside Heights, NJ back when that was still a relatively unknown destination for the world's elite. I must have done 200 shooters. The real ones - out of the test tubes."
As time was running out on his minor I tried to squeeze in one more question but he didn't hear me as he begun to count down out loud.
"Ready? Hold on…ok…3…2…1…look at my hair! Look at my hair! I'm flying!" and the door shut leaving me in the penalty box with a very ill-tempered old man (NOPE, I WAS AT HOME SITTING IN THE CORNER OF OUR LIVING ROOM ON THE RED CHAIR DRINKING SPRITE ZERO AND EATING PRETZELS.)
So it looks like Scott Hartnell has a plan for the next 6 weeks - just get by and then enjoy the rays.
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