01 June 2011
The Jets were bad ass, and if for no other reason than pure nostalgia, I'm happy they're going to be back in the league again. (As the Jets, hopefully not The Funky Bunch.)
As a layman in this situation, a casual observer, the whole thing really has come out of no where and continues to surprise me from time to time.
The relocation of the Coyotes became the magician's misdirection the league needed to finally pull back the curtain and reveal that, actually, Atlanta's hockey team had disappeared.
While I'll miss the idea of hockey in Atlanta, I will not miss the embarrassment I felt for the sport every time I tuned into a Thrashers home game and saw those thousands of blue seats staring at me.
But because I'm cruel and bitter and tall and beautiful and getting older, I'd like to imagine that the league's not done with franchise relocation in the not too distant future. And if I had my way, my extremely nostalgic way, I'd pull the plug on a couple other franchises. And here's what your NHL would look like:
You'll notice that some teams are missing, let me save you the math:
New York Islanders - gone. Oh I've heard all about how they were great in the 80's, but since I've been old enough to pee my Oshkosh b'gosh's they've sucked. The recent rink turmoil…Screw it. Move them to Hamilton where true fans would pack the barn nightly.
Florida Panthers - get serious. The NHL has two teams in Florida and only had 5 in Canada for over a decade? Jokes. Didn’t any of you see Slapshot? There is no team in St. Petersburg.
Carolina Hurricanes - Yeah you've had Cup success, yeah you have decent attendance, yeah you…well I don't even know. My point is this - I don't even really know what the Carolinas are. North, South, Raleigh? I'm sure it's beautiful there but we're talking about hockey, not wife carrying. Back from whence you came.
Ah, to see everything back to normal. And then have everyone blame me when Quebec, Hartford, and Hamilton fail. But, doesn't it just look more like a hockey league?
And for anyone that has a complaint about these guys' travel, did you see any of 24/7? Did you see those planes? This isn't Mike Richards and Alex Ovechkin getting stuck at the gate because of a snow storm and deciding to get out on the tarmac and terrorize workers with slap shots, this is the NHL baby. I bet half the guys would rather be on the plane drinking a sixer and gaming than in their apartment checking to see if Parks and Recreation was new last week.