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Written by Ryan | 11 October 2011

If you're unfortunate enough to have relatives out in Western PA, and they somehow figured out what to do with their private parts between shots of Jager and sandwiches with fries in them, a good way to stick to them is to head over to the NHL store and buy them one of these get ups:

penskid

It's a good way to buy them something they'll like and still make fun of them at the same time.

Plus the kid is probably going to have a rough life, so it's a nice gesture to make sure it will at least have one pair of clothes.

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Written by Ryan | 11 October 2011

occupybroad

Haven't been on the webs much lately. If someone already took this lame joke then sorry. If not then shame on you all.

"Real men don't sit around in garbage waiting for change to happen, they put on hockey equipment and make their own change from inside the system." - JJ, circa 1994

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Written by Ryan | 10 October 2011

stevenshead

This is definitely just a sad, pathetic gripe by a Flyers fan, but I was thinking about the head shot rule other day and wondered if the Stevens-Lindros hit grabbed in the screen shot above wouldn't have been suspension worthy in 2011.

For 12 years now people throughout the hockey universe have agreed on the fact that this was a clean shoulder check. And in 2000 it was, but the paradigm and associated perspectives have shifted. Under the new rules I honestly believe Stevens may have been out of the playoffs and then some for this hit:



Here's Rule 48, right from the league's official rule book.

48.1 Illegal Check to the Head – A lateral or blind side hit to an opponent where the head is targeted and/or the principal point of contact is not permitted.

Maybe the head wasn't targeted purposefully, but it was definitely the principal point of contact. Just sayin' lolollozzzomg.

In the end, it's a moot point for a variety of reasons:
- Lindros should have been more aware
- It happened forever ago
- These rules didn't apply back then

But it's interesting to consider the case, as a "clean hit" isn't what it used to be 10, 20, or 30 years ago.

I would have to guess that the if this hit happened last night Brendan Shanahan would spend most of this morning picking out a professional looking shirt and sport coat combination in preparation for his screen time on the NHL Network, where he'd probably hand out at least a 5 game suspension to Scott Stevens. And in the process seriously hindering the Devils chances of taking down the Stars and winning the Cup in 2000.

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Written by Ryan | 09 October 2011

Flyers 3, Devils 0, Dave Clarkson's Face 3

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Written by Fran | 08 October 2011


I see you Dave, Brown....


We get our second taste of the new look Flyers this evening as they head to Newark to take on the New Jersey Devils. Thursdays opener was an entertaining tilt and showed us many things about this Flyers club. A familiar foe awaits Philly tonight, and this Devils team is looking to erase last years  troubling season.  The ol' Turnpike battle is always filled with the type of Atlantic Division grit we all love.

 Thursday night's game started off horribly, followed by a dominating middle and then a butt-clenching finish.  We all saw some rust on Captain Pronger.  We all saw some flashes of brilliance from the Giroux-Jagr-Rabbit line.  We all saw KimmoTimmo kick the entire city of Boston's butt. Overall, the Flyers looks very solid.  A great 4th line presence centered around Max Talbot and a very good team defense.  Bryzgalov was very sharp in a very hostile environment.  Some nervous play from Read, Cooter and Rinaldo, but overall the rooks looked good.  A big negative was Simmonds and Hartnell.  Luckily, a game against the Devils is just the type of game for these guys.  I fully expect Simmonds and Hartnell to factor into the outcome tonight.  Both guys are going to be in Marty's face and hopefully attacking on the forecheck.

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Written by Ryan | 08 October 2011

richiepad

In case you need something...uh....else to think about this morning. Here's something a bit happier.

Well actually it's not. It turns out Mike Richards is nice, and a human, and even has a sense of humor.

Why didn't we get to see any of these things in Philly? I swear I never saw him laugh in five years and he's a regular Chuckles McGee in this video.

Click HERE to see why Mike Richards loves Kenora so much. Close eyes at 1:42 mark. 

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Written by Ryan | 07 October 2011

cooter

In honor of the Flyers rookie that tried to embed a puck between Tim Thomas' eyes.

And our favorite food, grilled chicken sandwiches with no bread.

Go HERE to buy it for $17.

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Written by Ryan | 07 October 2011

schmidtbanner

Zdeno Chara is (and probably has) a huge asshole.

He couldn't let JVR just come in and wrestle him until the scrum got so big that no one knew what was going on? He was going to punch him in his newborn baby American face?!?

"He shouldn't have come at him if he didn't want to drop the gloves."

"It's a man's game."

"I love crepes."

You would be thinking that you Boston troll. Be gone. Return when Johnny Boychuck has become a Manchuck.

That was a really intense game to watch for No. 1 of the season. Maybe it was because of the masturbatory banner raising for a Cup that isn't even theirs anymore, or maybe it was just that new trapper keeper hustle, but it seemed like a playoff game out there. More Simmonds than I've seen recently in the playoffs, but I like it.

You know who was almost non-existent even though his line mates are going to get a lot of press? Scott Hartnell. He was by far the least noticeable forward. You know who I'm scared I might end up liking even though I promised the monster under my bed I wouldn't? Max Talbot. The guy gets an E for effort. It's just…someone buy him a Norelco or something. He looks like a background actor in an SNL lounge scene.

I'll say this - it did appear to be a full team effort. If Pronger dropped the ball, which he did a surprising number of times last night, Bryz was there to pick it up. When Bryz was hung out to dry and Simmonds was in the box, Kimmo came up with a huge goal-saving play. When Matt Read was giving drop pass one-timers to the Bruins on the PP, the rest of the guys managed to get the puck out of the zone.

It was a nice effort and result on a night that was ultimately the Bruins. Don't confuse a win last night with us dumping on Boston's party. They just had the Cup for almost 4 months. One loss doesn't erase that.

Some thoughts on some of the guys:

Jaromir Jagr - even at 55 the guy is still like a dog digging under your couch for his toy. Dude wants that puck in the O-zone. I mean, he italics wants it.

Claude Giroux - shouldn't have turned his back on The Giant Asshole, but otherwise, a nifty game from the Ontarian. Not sure I like how his expression is that of a guy sitting at The Laugh Factory for most of the game, but I'm sure Pronger will talk to him about the Smiling Rule.

Jakub Voracek - not a huge fan of the #93 after all I've been through. He would be a good #42. Or #67. Or #86.

Wayne Simmonds - that holding penalty when the guy was jabbing away at Bryz was a BS call.

Sean Couturier - I don't know if it's because I like him or I want to like him, but I like him. Ya know?

Matt Read - despite that giveaway on the power play, Read actually drew the penalty in the first that opened up the Flyers scoring. He used poise (maybe a little too much) to walk the puck into a better scoring position and the Bruins got all kherjkwbbweuilbgebwb!!

Zac Rinaldo - The kid was alright but I really think that 4th line could be something with Read on it. And Schenn on the 3rd.

Braydon Coburn - My second favorite Flyers D-man for a variety of reasons displayed a number of them last night.

Matt Carle - was surprised at how solid he looked out there.

Andreas Lilja - Actually played alright. In case you don't know much about him (or his head) read this.

Michael Schulze - nice guess on Claude Giroux scoring the first goal. Excellent luck in being picked in our random drawing of Giroux goals. We'll email you.

Everyone else - Andreas Lilja almost made you all look stupid when Nodl fed him that backhander in the slot 5 minutes in. He woulda got you got. Not ONE Lilja vote and every other Flyer had at least one. You anti-Swedites.

Off to the swamps. It's hockey season, brotherrrr (in Hulk Hogan voice).

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Written by Fran | 06 October 2011

flyerDogs
Yo, stop me if you heard this one before, but your Philadelphia Flyers are different. And no, not just a little different, in that "oh hey look, we signed Meszaros and Shelley!" way.  July and August of 2011 were simply incredible. In an offseason that we will never forget, the Flyers radically altered their lineup and their future.  This season is like a brand new game of scrabble.  The board is empty, waiting to be filled with God knows what. And then there is us, sitting there, with 7 letters that at first glance make no fucking sense at all. 

Tonight the Flyers get to open the season against the team that sent them packing last year.  The Boston Bruins are raising their championship banner tonight, and the Orange & Black get to watch it all unfold.  It's going to be sickening, and that taste of bile we all had in our mouths five months ago will come bubbling back up.  Boston and the TD Garden will be electric.  An already hostile barn, tonight the fans will be frothing at the mouth for their Cup winners. It is going to be loud and the Bruins are going to be coming with everything they have…plus the ghost of Mark Recchi.  It is a tall order to think this new group of Flyers is going into Boston tonight and dismantling the Bruins. The B's lineup will be looking to get on the scoresheet early, then playing a Boston style game of hard, stingy defense.  This will not be easy, and for Ilya Bryzgalov, that's just the way he likes it. 

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Written by Ryan | 06 October 2011

Peter-Laviolette-takes-a-timeout

Baby, don't understand
Why we can't just hold on to each other's hands?
This time might be the last I fear unless
I make it all too clear I need you so, ohh

Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Take these broken wings

Baby, I think tonight
We can take what was wrong and make it right
Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole, I need you so.

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Yeah, yeah

Let us in
Let us in

Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in

Take these broken wings
You got to learn to fly, learn to live and love so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up for us and let us in
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh

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