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Written by Ryan | 08 October 2011

richiepad

In case you need something...uh....else to think about this morning. Here's something a bit happier.

Well actually it's not. It turns out Mike Richards is nice, and a human, and even has a sense of humor.

Why didn't we get to see any of these things in Philly? I swear I never saw him laugh in five years and he's a regular Chuckles McGee in this video.

Click HERE to see why Mike Richards loves Kenora so much. Close eyes at 1:42 mark. 

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Written by Ryan | 07 October 2011

cooter

In honor of the Flyers rookie that tried to embed a puck between Tim Thomas' eyes.

And our favorite food, grilled chicken sandwiches with no bread.

Go HERE to buy it for $17.

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Written by Ryan | 07 October 2011

schmidtbanner

Zdeno Chara is (and probably has) a huge asshole.

He couldn't let JVR just come in and wrestle him until the scrum got so big that no one knew what was going on? He was going to punch him in his newborn baby American face?!?

"He shouldn't have come at him if he didn't want to drop the gloves."

"It's a man's game."

"I love crepes."

You would be thinking that you Boston troll. Be gone. Return when Johnny Boychuck has become a Manchuck.

That was a really intense game to watch for No. 1 of the season. Maybe it was because of the masturbatory banner raising for a Cup that isn't even theirs anymore, or maybe it was just that new trapper keeper hustle, but it seemed like a playoff game out there. More Simmonds than I've seen recently in the playoffs, but I like it.

You know who was almost non-existent even though his line mates are going to get a lot of press? Scott Hartnell. He was by far the least noticeable forward. You know who I'm scared I might end up liking even though I promised the monster under my bed I wouldn't? Max Talbot. The guy gets an E for effort. It's just…someone buy him a Norelco or something. He looks like a background actor in an SNL lounge scene.

I'll say this - it did appear to be a full team effort. If Pronger dropped the ball, which he did a surprising number of times last night, Bryz was there to pick it up. When Bryz was hung out to dry and Simmonds was in the box, Kimmo came up with a huge goal-saving play. When Matt Read was giving drop pass one-timers to the Bruins on the PP, the rest of the guys managed to get the puck out of the zone.

It was a nice effort and result on a night that was ultimately the Bruins. Don't confuse a win last night with us dumping on Boston's party. They just had the Cup for almost 4 months. One loss doesn't erase that.

Some thoughts on some of the guys:

Jaromir Jagr - even at 55 the guy is still like a dog digging under your couch for his toy. Dude wants that puck in the O-zone. I mean, he italics wants it.

Claude Giroux - shouldn't have turned his back on The Giant Asshole, but otherwise, a nifty game from the Ontarian. Not sure I like how his expression is that of a guy sitting at The Laugh Factory for most of the game, but I'm sure Pronger will talk to him about the Smiling Rule.

Jakub Voracek - not a huge fan of the #93 after all I've been through. He would be a good #42. Or #67. Or #86.

Wayne Simmonds - that holding penalty when the guy was jabbing away at Bryz was a BS call.

Sean Couturier - I don't know if it's because I like him or I want to like him, but I like him. Ya know?

Matt Read - despite that giveaway on the power play, Read actually drew the penalty in the first that opened up the Flyers scoring. He used poise (maybe a little too much) to walk the puck into a better scoring position and the Bruins got all kherjkwbbweuilbgebwb!!

Zac Rinaldo - The kid was alright but I really think that 4th line could be something with Read on it. And Schenn on the 3rd.

Braydon Coburn - My second favorite Flyers D-man for a variety of reasons displayed a number of them last night.

Matt Carle - was surprised at how solid he looked out there.

Andreas Lilja - Actually played alright. In case you don't know much about him (or his head) read this.

Michael Schulze - nice guess on Claude Giroux scoring the first goal. Excellent luck in being picked in our random drawing of Giroux goals. We'll email you.

Everyone else - Andreas Lilja almost made you all look stupid when Nodl fed him that backhander in the slot 5 minutes in. He woulda got you got. Not ONE Lilja vote and every other Flyer had at least one. You anti-Swedites.

Off to the swamps. It's hockey season, brotherrrr (in Hulk Hogan voice).

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Written by Fran | 06 October 2011

flyerDogs
Yo, stop me if you heard this one before, but your Philadelphia Flyers are different. And no, not just a little different, in that "oh hey look, we signed Meszaros and Shelley!" way.  July and August of 2011 were simply incredible. In an offseason that we will never forget, the Flyers radically altered their lineup and their future.  This season is like a brand new game of scrabble.  The board is empty, waiting to be filled with God knows what. And then there is us, sitting there, with 7 letters that at first glance make no fucking sense at all. 

Tonight the Flyers get to open the season against the team that sent them packing last year.  The Boston Bruins are raising their championship banner tonight, and the Orange & Black get to watch it all unfold.  It's going to be sickening, and that taste of bile we all had in our mouths five months ago will come bubbling back up.  Boston and the TD Garden will be electric.  An already hostile barn, tonight the fans will be frothing at the mouth for their Cup winners. It is going to be loud and the Bruins are going to be coming with everything they have…plus the ghost of Mark Recchi.  It is a tall order to think this new group of Flyers is going into Boston tonight and dismantling the Bruins. The B's lineup will be looking to get on the scoresheet early, then playing a Boston style game of hard, stingy defense.  This will not be easy, and for Ilya Bryzgalov, that's just the way he likes it. 

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Written by Ryan | 06 October 2011

Peter-Laviolette-takes-a-timeout

Baby, don't understand
Why we can't just hold on to each other's hands?
This time might be the last I fear unless
I make it all too clear I need you so, ohh

Take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Take these broken wings

Baby, I think tonight
We can take what was wrong and make it right
Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole, I need you so.

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in
Yeah, yeah

Let us in
Let us in

Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh
And blood that makes me whole
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

So take these broken wings
And learn to fly again, learn to live so free
And when we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up and let us in

Take these broken wings
You got to learn to fly, learn to live and love so free
When we hear the voices sing
The book of love will open up for us and let us in
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh

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Written by Ryan | 06 October 2011

Just a reminder, it's T-Shirt Thursday around these parts. You could have one of these beautiful shirts (or any of the other 50+) for free. All you have to do is email us, tweet at us, or drop a deuce in the comments with the name of the Flyer you think will score first tonight. Details below:

 

shirts



The basics:

1. Every Thursday during the season (when the Flyers play) we're giving away one of our home brewed shirts found here in our gear shop.
2. You can win it
3. All you have to do is send an email to Flyersgoalscoredby@gmail.com, hit us in the comments, or tweet us with the name of whoever you think is going to score the first goal of that night's game for the Flyers.
4. That's it.

Everyone who choses the player who scores will be put into a drawing and the winner can select any of the shirts in our store. No shipping. No tax. No nude pics required.

We'll post a reminder every Thursday morning and you have until the clock strikes Puck Drop PM to just type the name of a Flyer.

Rules for all you hamsters out there:

- 1 entry per email address, 1 per commenter name, 1 per twitter handle (so you could enter 3 times)
- that's it.

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Written by Ryan | 06 October 2011

From left to right, the guide to Flyer Survivor over the past five seasons.

openingnight

Before ya'll shit, as I know you're prone to do, these are lists of who dressed on opening night, not everyone that the Flyers owned.

Looks like the Flyers had many more new faces two years ago after getting dumped on by the Penguins, just not high profile faces.

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Written by Ryan | 05 October 2011

bettswaived

This is all very confusing. Ok, you have to assume that Brayden Schenn is simply hiding under the Wells Fargo Center instead of on his way to Adirondack to save the club almost $1.5M in cap space. You have to start there.

And then you also have to assume that with Rinaldo still in Philadelphia, the Flyers are reserving a 12th forward spot for someone who has no skills. Whether it be Rinaldo or Shelley, or even Sestito, the Flyers are only icing 11 hockey players this season. That's at least the thinking going into it.

So with the top 7 spots spoken for by Briere, Giroux, van Riemsdyk, Voracek, Jagr, Simmonds, and Hartnell, and the 12th spot spoken for by a Mad Libs knuckle chucker, we've got 4 spots to account for - 2 on the third line and 2 on the fourth.

Conventional wisdom, and I believe it to be right in this case, would tell you that neither Schenn nor Couturier should be on the 4th line as offensively gifted rookies. It would also tell you that it's dangerous to have them both on the third line, as rookies are often looked at as defensive liabilities. So I'm lost there.

Read could probably play on the 4th line, but if he's as skilled offensively as his preseason performance hinted at, then he shouldn't be down there either. Read being 5 years older than Schenn and 7 years older than Couturier (and that college degree, baby), maybe Laviolette is banking on him being more prepared defensively than either other rookie. Maybe he balances out the youth with his need to shave.

Even though we're handicapping our 4th line with a goon instead of breaking the mold and putting Talbot and Nodl with Rookie X, it appears there was no room for Betts anywhere but in the press box. But I would have thought that the Flyers would want him there for injury's sake, at least bad enough that they would waive Shelley (maybe they can't while he's suspended?) or at least demote Rinaldo to start the season. Maybe Rinaldo making $166k less than Betts had something to do with it? Maybe we're that up against the cap? It don't know. All I did was start typing on Blogspot 4 years ago.

But what is extremely troubling to me is this - that Laviolette and Holmgren did not have a conversation that Ed Snider then signed their T&E for from Chipotle as both a symbolic and functional gesture. A conversation in which they said "let's change our game plan from putting out 3 lines that can play and a 4th line that gets 3 minutes of ice and gives me agita to putting out 4 lines that can play and rely on true team toughness."

In the end Betts, if he gets claimed on waivers, will have been a victim of a nostalgic love for the enforcer. Something that Flyers management needs to catch up to Flyers fans in moving past.

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Written by Ryan | 03 October 2011

homerhead

I'm reading this book called Full Spectrum by Jay Greenberg. It basically chronicles the first 30 years of the Flyers existence. It's bigger than the tablets the 10 Commandments were written on. For reeeeels.

I've just gotten to 1988, the season when Paul Holmgren was chosen to succeed Mike Kennan as the the Flyers head coach, despite never having been a head coach in any capacity anywhere. And some of the shit he's saying...I swear to God I hate the internet. Believe it or not, hockey guys actually used to talk like real people before everything they said was examined with a Miami Metro PD Lab Microscope by a million Dexter Morgan's with Macs.

Here are some of the beauts:

"God Job!"
Written on the chalk board after the Flyers won their opening game of the season.

"I jumped for joy when Clarkie told me. Literally. We really needed a scorer."
Upon hearing the news that 23 year old Peter Zezel was traded for overweight, hard-partying Mike Bullard.

 "We lit a candle."
In response to hearing that Mark Howe was going to be out 7-10 days with an MCL sprain.

"I wet my pants."
When the Caps forced 5 faceoffs in a row with their goalie pulled in Game 6 of the opening round. (That's an actual quote)

"A snowball with number 66 on it."
After a Mario Lemieux goal - I don't even know what that means.

"If he was scared he hid it pretty well."
On telling Ken Wregget he was starting game 7 of the 2nd Round against the Penguins.

"You, out late drinking the night before a playoff game!"
Homer holding Mike Bullard IN THE AIR BY HIS THROAT in front of the entire team.

And that was just the first year out of 3 1/4 seasons. The Flyers didn't make the the playoffs in either of the next two years, nor did they when Homer was relieved of his coaching duties 24 games into his fourth season, so he must have had some great quotes during those years. Probably wet his pants and shirts during those seasons.

The funny thing is, the players were even more candid than the coaches back then. And most of all? Bobby Clarke. Just wait until I retype some of the shit this guy said. As a sneak preview I'll drop this line on you - in regards to Ron Hextall, the previous season's Bobby Clarke Award winner as team MVP, holding out of training camp in 1989:

"Look, Ron Hextall doesn't have to play hockey for a living. It's a free country." 

BAZINGA! 

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Written by Ryan | 03 October 2011

sykora

With everyone making predictions on point totals and starting lineups and class couples, I find myself more full of dread than usual. This preseason was a little too promising. There's some weird sense of "hey, maybe we can actually do this" floating around that is bringing out my defensive tendencies. I want to believe too, but shit, the Phils lost last night so now they're basically out of the playoffs and if The Dream Team is going to finish 1-16 (an extra loss tacked on by Goodall for making up football plays) then the Flyers might go the old T-Mobile 0-82. There are, however a couple things I dread more than others, and here they are in an exactly particular order:

1. Ilya Bryzgalov is not as good as we're hoping he is. Sure Bob's looked great in the preseason but the club paid big money for big money goaltending and I want him to steal some games.

2. Chris Pronger plays 40 games or less due to injuries.

3. Jagr blows.

4. Claude Giroux gets a long term injury.

5. The Flyers sign Max Talbot.

6. The Flyers Trade Bob for like 2 first rounders and 2 prospects and then Bryz gets his leg knocked off by a Stamkos one-timer.

7. They're just not good. They just don't get wins and no one knows why.

8. Which leads to stories about Laviolette being on the hot seat, which, I swear, I will come down to Center City and punch the Inquirer and Daily News buildings to the ground.

9. Holmgren does something crazy and we have to trade away one of our cute players for a toothless pug with rabies.

10. Slideshows.

Morgan Freeman said it in Shawshank Redemption - "Hope is a dangerous thing. Gimme a beat."

Let's hope that this new-look, generation-spanning collection of seemingly random parts can be put together in a way that makes sense and produces a steady 6 month performance. Let's hope nothing I listed above happens. Not even the ones that already have.

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